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        <div id="content-top1">Page 30 - altÄ±nnesil e-dergi yayÄ±n</div>
        <div id="content-top2">P. 30</div>
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    <pre style="white-space:pre-line"><code>AltÄ±n Dergi Edebiyat ve KÃ¼ltÃ¼r Dergisi

                                  KaranlÄ±k

  Gecenin karanlÄ±ÄŸÄ± kÃ¼Ã§Ã¼k kulÃ¼bemi o gÃ¼Ã§lÃ¼ kollarÄ± ile sarmÄ±ÅŸ, sessizliÄŸin dÄ±ÅŸarÄ± Ã§Ä±kmasÄ±na izin ver-
mezmiÅŸ gibi sÄ±kmÄ±ÅŸtÄ±. Nefes almak, bir nebze olsun rahatlamak iÃ§in kulÃ¼benin kapÄ±sÄ±nÄ± aÃ§tÄ±m ve
kendimi dÄ±ÅŸarÄ±ya attÄ±m. SoÄŸuk, bedenimi Ã§evreledi.
Kar kokusu etrafta geziniyor, yakÄ±nda karÄ±n geleceÄŸini haber veriyordu.KulÃ¼benin dÄ±ÅŸÄ±ndaki sandal-
yeye oturdum. OrmanÄ±n sessizliÄŸini dinledim. AyÄ±n gÃ¶kyÃ¼zÃ¼nÃ¼ kaplayan Ä±ÅŸÄ±ÄŸÄ±nÄ±n gÃ¶rkemini seyret-
tim. ArtÄ±k yaÅŸlanmaktan lekelenmiÅŸ, kurumuÅŸ ve buruÅŸmuÅŸ ellerime baktÄ±m. AklÄ±mdan Ã§Ä±kmayan o
anÄ±larÄ± bir an bile olsun dindirmeyi denedim. Rahatlamaya, suÃ§luluk duygusunu gÃ¶rmezden gelmeye
Ã§alÄ±ÅŸtÄ±m. BaÅŸaramadÄ±m. Ä°lerideki akan nehre odaklandÄ±m. Suyun sesinin ormanÄ±n sessizliÄŸi ile birleÅŸtiÄŸi
ve oluÅŸturduÄŸu o ahengi dinledim. YalnÄ±zlÄ±ÄŸÄ±m beni rahatsÄ±z etmiyordu. Ã‡Ã¼nkÃ¼ bunu hak ediyordum.
SevdiÄŸi insanlarÄ± yok eden bir kanserden baÅŸka bir ÅŸey deÄŸildim. YavaÅŸÃ§a oturduÄŸum yerden kalktÄ±m.
AÄŸrÄ±yan dizlerimin kÃ¼Ã§Ã¼k bir yÃ¼rÃ¼yÃ¼ÅŸe ihtiyacÄ± vardÄ±. AyaÄŸÄ±mÄ±n altÄ±nda Ã§atÄ±rdayan yapraklar or-
manÄ±n sessizliÄŸini bozuyor, tÃ¼m ormanÄ± sarsarcasÄ±na yankÄ±lanÄ±yordu. Kendimi onu, onlarÄ± dÃ¼ÅŸÃ¼n-
mekten alÄ±koyamÄ±yordum. YaptÄ±ÄŸÄ±m hatalarÄ±n acÄ±sÄ±nÄ± Ã§eken masumlarÄ± aklÄ±mdan Ã§Ä±karamÄ±yordum.
BorÃ§larÄ±m boyumu aÅŸmÄ±ÅŸtÄ± o zamanlar. BabamÄ±n bana miras bÄ±raktÄ±ÄŸÄ± o kÃ¼Ã§Ã¼k ayakkabÄ± dÃ¼kkanÄ±nÄ±
yaÅŸatmak iÃ§in ne gerekirse yapardÄ±m. Ama ÅŸimdi aptallÄ±ÄŸÄ±mÄ± anlÄ±yorum. Ben babamÄ±n gururlandÄ±r-
mak istemekten Ã§ok, kÃ¼Ã§Ã¼cÃ¼k bir dÃ¼kkanÄ± bile yÃ¶netemeyen kiÅŸi olmak istememiÅŸtim. AcÄ±nasÄ± hal-
deydim, banka bana kredi vermiyordu.Tek Ã§are kÃ¶tÃ¼ yollardan geÃ§iyordu.Ve bu seÃ§im bana ikiz-
lerimize hamile olan karÄ±ma mal oldu.

  KulÃ¼beme dÃ¶ndÃ¼m. YataÄŸÄ±ma uzanmadan Ã¶nce her zaman yaptÄ±ÄŸÄ±m gibi karÄ±mÄ±n fotoÄŸrafÄ±nÄ±
elime aldÄ±m. Son kez aÄŸladÄ±m. Ve bir daha uyanmamak Ã¼zere gÃ¶zlerimi derin bir uykuya kapattÄ±m.

                                                                                                         ÅÄ°RÄ°N GÃœLEÃ‡
                                                                                                                      8/B

  30</code></pre>
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